The anatomy of a hard heart

May 2, 2016 1 Comment by Josh Schlotterbeck

Anatomy of a hard heartOne of the most difficult aspects of this season in my life is that I had never prepared for it.  What I mean to say is, on the one hand, this is something the church never talks about. We never talk about the pain that cuts so deep it paralyzes its victims.  We never talk about a trauma so blunt that it causes us to question everything we put our faith in.  Well, maybe we do talk about it…but the prevailing theology suggests that there is something wrong with you, or your faith, if something can stop your faith dead in its tracks.  This is why I never saw this coming, it’s why I wasn’t prepare for a hard heart.  It’s also why I am not fighting it.  I am embracing it.  I am accepting this season as a gift from God.  It hurts, it’s embarrassing, and it’s probably a result of a series of poor responses to some legitimately painful and confusing events in my life.  It probably could have been avoided.  Whatever is true about how I got here, I am here.  And I hope that being here will drawn me closer to God, and be helpful for you.

While I am just beginning to work through this, I am determined to share what I am learning.  I don’t want you to be broadsided like I was.  So, here is what I have discovered about the anatomy of a  hard heart.  These are some symptoms of a hard heart.  Understanding the symptoms is a large part of understanding the prescription:

Symptoms

1)  You don’t celebrate or cry anymore. 
2) You stop genuinely caring about anything.
3) The things that should feel meaningful start feeling mechanical.
4) There is very little passion…for anything.
5) You become cynical, cautious, and callous. 

 

One Comment

  1. Hannah Cifuentes says:
    Friday, May 6, 2016 at 8:44pm

    This. So real, raw and good. I’ve completely been here and it wasn’t really until last August that things started falling away, the layers that I had built up peeling away- through lots of talking with Gerson, taking time for myself and switching up my devotionals(I listen to Walk in the Word podcast and started to journal), we started a new church, and recently counseling with a holistic psychologist. I say all that to say I know it’s hard, especially when there’s a certain image that we build in our minds of who we are meant to be in Christ. And falling so short of that is hard. But i can tell you these past months I have been so very humbled and have grown more personally than I ever have before. You aren’t alone.

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