The Approach: A Trail of Firsts
Some trails leave more than footprints. They leave quiet evidence on the heart; signs that we’re braver and stronger than we ever believed.
On July 16th, my son Ben and I stood at the trailhead of Mount Bierstadt, one of Colorado’s revered 14ers, rising 14,060 feet into the thin, blue sky. He’s eleven. This was the hardest thing we’d ever attempted together.
The trail stretched more than seven miles round-trip. Not treacherous, but steady. Honest. It wove through open meadows, climbed alpine ridges, and crossed lingering July snowdrifts. We moved slowly. Not because we had to, but because the pace felt right, like something sacred was unfolding and we didn’t want to rush it.
We laughed. We spotted mountain goats etched like chalk outlines on the distant cliffs. We paused to catch our breath and throw snowballs. And all the while, something was happening not in the landscape, but in my son.
Building Resilience, One Step at a Time
There’s a quiet miracle in watching your child discover their strength; not the kind you hand them, but the kind they dig for inside themselves.
That’s what resilience really is…not toughness, but trust. A belief that you can keep going, even when the air gets thin. Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, in The Power of Showing Up, write that “resilience isn’t about avoiding the falls – it’s about having the internal resources and relational support to get back up.” That day on the mountain, Ben was building both.
Learn more about resilience in my blog “Between the Ridges: Building Resilience in Ourselves and Our Children.”
Psychologists call this internal capacity the “growth mindset,” a term coined by Carol Dweck. It’s the idea that our abilities and character are not fixed, but shaped by effort, struggle, and reflection. Watching Ben ascend Bierstadt, I saw this mindset awaken in him. Not in a single triumphant moment, but in each decision to take one more step.
He didn’t just hike a mountain. He rewrote part of the story he tells himself about who he is and what he’s capable of.
The Summit Isn’t Always the Peak
We reached the summit after nearly four and a half hours. Ben was exhausted, but glowing. We snapped a few photos. But the real moment didn’t come at the top. It came later, during the descent.
A wave of altitude sickness swept over him, subtle at first. He felt queasy, slowed down, but never gave up. He kept putting one foot in front of the other, focused and quiet. No complaints. Just determination. Just breath.
When we finally reached the car, he looked back at the peak we had just conquered and said softly, “I’m proud of myself.”
I nearly lost it.
That simple phrase held more weight than anything I could have told him. It meant the summit had sunk deeper than muscle. It had reached his soul.
The Messages That Shape Us
The next morning, before the sun rose, I sent him a text:
“I just want you to know how proud I am of you….You kept pushing and you made it to the summit…And when you told me ‘I’m proud of myself,” man that hit different. That’s the kind of strength no one can give you and no one can take away.”
Later that day, he replied:
“I love and I appreciate what you wrote. I had a tear..”
It reminded me how much power our words carry, especially as fathers. Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour emphasizes the impact of “earned confidence” how it’s not puffed-up praise that anchors our children, but evidence-based encouragement rooted in what they’ve actually endured.
What I saw in Ben that day wasn’t bravado. It was something sturdier. A kind of resilience being formed from the inside out.
The Next Climb
Ben is stepping into sixth grade now. Sports tryouts loom. New classes. New peers. All the unknowns that come with growing up. But he’s different now. A little more grounded. A little more aware that the thoughts in his head shape the contents of his heart.
And that knowledge? That’s bedrock. That’s where greatness begins.
Dr. Brené Brown puts it this way:
“When we have the courage to walk into our story and own it, we get to write the ending.”
Ben took his first real steps into that kind of authorship on Mt. Bierstadt. Not just as a hiker, but as a young man learning to write his own story, with sweat, breath, and grit.
A Reflection for the Trail Ahead
There are trails we walk for the view.
And there are trails we walk to remember who we are and who we’re becoming.
If you’re reading this, maybe you’re on your own ascent. Maybe the summit still feels far away. Or maybe you’ve already crested one ridge, only to find a steeper one beyond it.
Take heart.
Your strength is rising. Quietly. Step by step.
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